It never goes well does it?
It could be okay for days, months,
The bad comes back.
You’re pushed back,
Back in to the deep, dark place
You have created for yourself.
A place full of self-hate,
And the the pain,
At the pit of your stomach,
Burns and aches.
But you still put on a smile
And no one even knows how you feel.
Today I had a teacher tell me that a family member of theirs attempted suicide with pills.
I asked why he didn’t seem more concerned, and he replied with “people who attempt overdose are just attention seeking.”
Tell that to my grandma while she had to shower me for a month because I couldn’t stand after my overdose.
Tell that to my younger cousin who didn’t understand why I slept for three days straight.
Tell that to my bestfriend who saw me cry in every moment I was awake for two weeks after I swallowed those little pieces of hell.
Tell that to my brother who watched me vomit up everything I ate because my stomach was on fire.
Tell that to my teachers who watched me fail my exams because I was so dizzy and out of it I couldn’t stand, let alone concentrate.
Tell that to my mum, who watched me violently shake, sweat, convulse and cry in her arms because I didn’t want to be alive.
Go on, tell them it’s attention seeking. I dare you."
- (via sighbroken)
- Deepak Chopr (via psych-facts)
- Midnight thoughts (sometimes I’m a mess)